Space
Invader 2, Pleasure Beach Blackpool
Anyone
who remembers the early days of video games will undoubtedly recall
Space Invaders. There was a time when every arcade, every pub, and every
chip shop had a copy of the game, and people would eagerly queue up to
feed 10p coins into the machine for a few minutes of saving the Earth
from intergalactic interlopers. Jumping on the bandwagon, Pleasure Beach
Blackpool opened the Space Invader ride in 1984, a fairly simple
enclosed coaster themed around space travel.
Although
it seems hard to believe now, the opening of the Space Invader was a
huge event. A memorable TV campaign was run in which a family of excited
Americans would drive their Cadillac past a series of signs pointing to
"THE WORLD'S MOST THRILLING RIDE", only to arrive on a
deserted beach, where the final sign pointed across the Atlantic to
Blackpool. Elsewhere, countless television and newspaper features
promoted the ride as the last word in thrills, and as Blackpool's first
step toward the 21st Century. The hype certainly worked, and like the
arcade game before it, the ride generated epic queues of eager
astronauts, all willing to hand over their pound notes for what was, in
fact, a basic Zierer Four Man Bob coaster in the dark.
But
things inevitably move on, and eventually the ride became stale. For a
ride that was meant to offer a taste of the 21st Century, it is ironic
that when the fabled Y2K actually dawned, the Space Invader was by far
the most outdated ride in the park. Through the intervening years, the
ride cars had been regularly butchered, beginning with a 4-seat
Log-Flume-style arrangement, then going down to 3 seats and car-like
seatbelts, and finally to 2 seats with diabolical overhead restraints.
In its final days, the ride still generated massive queues, but for all
the wrong reasons, namely its chronically low capacity, rather than any
particular enthusiasm from the riders.
Coaster
Kingdom's review of the original Space Invader was an almost entirely
negative affair. The indoor queue system came in for a particular
kicking, due to being horrendously claustrophobic and tedious; while the
overhead restraints were slated for turning a decent little family
coaster into an uncomfortable and quite brutal ordeal. Thankfully, as
the stardate approached 2004, the park announced that the ride would be
refurbished, and renamed "Space Invader 2". Although this was
welcome news, it has to be said that re-vamped rides can sometimes turn
out worse than the original, and so it is now time for us to go back and
discover whether Space Invader 2 is a star attraction or a waste of deep
space.
The
exterior of the ride is themed as a giant cube-shaped blue meteorite
that has apparently crashed to Earth in the middle of the Pleasure
Beach. For the re-vamp, this has had a new lick of paint, and is now a
much brighter shade of blue, neatly bringing out some of the finer
details that weren't particularly noticeable before. Up above, the name
signs have had a big red "2" unceremoniously cobbled onto
them, while the wreckage of a spacecraft sticks out of the upper parts
of the rock, the remnants of a valiant but doomed attempt to deter this
great celestial body from burying itself into the Flyde coast. In an
almost surreal touch, the entrance is now in the shadow of a huge new
thruster-unit, which periodically plops a dense cloud of water vapour
onto the crowds below. You're probably wondering possible purpose this
could serve - well, if you work it out, do please share it with the rest
of us.
In
keeping with the park's desperate need to save space, the coaster is
actually upstairs, with the ground floor being used as a tunnel for
various amenities, including King Cotton, an authentic Lancashire pub
(although how many real Lancashire pubs are built into the side of
meteorites, I'm not sure). If you have ever seen a Four Man Bob in the
open-air, you'll know that they are actually tiny, and so the fact that
this one sits in such a large building is a convenient way to increase
the intimidation factor of the ride.
From
the front doorway, the path takes us straight onto the flight deck of
our mothership. A bizarre alien creature is quarantined behind a window,
while all around are panels full of flashing lights, dials, and buttons,
all do doubt vital to the mission. Above, an astronaut can be seen
taking a space-walk, and ahead we see a figure scanning the readings on
the master control panel. This whole scene is almost exactly as it was
on Space Invader 1, although it is nice to see the astronauts moving
again, after many years in what I'll generously call suspended
animation.
Having
looked around the mothership, it is seemingly time to board our own
craft, as a sign urges us forward to the launchpad. The walkway narrows
into a single-file, upward sloped, corrugated iron corridor. This may
well be an authentic recreation of the corridors that Neil Armstrong and
Yuri Gagarin used to reach their crafts, but that doesn't alter the fact
that it is a truly horrible place in which to stand and queue. In fact,
if the queue stretches this far back, it is seriously worth re-thinking
whether you really want to explore the galaxy in the first place, as the
whole setting is so desperately dull as to be not so much the
"Gateway to the Heavens" as "The Bore of the
Worlds".
For
those who do decide to boldly go on, we turn a corner, and find another
corridor, absolutely identical to the first, only longer. After
negotiating this second mind-numbingly dull thoroughfare, we turn
another corner, and there is yet another corridor. Of course, first time
riders will have no idea how many more of these corridors they will have
to negotiate, and so there is the added frustration of thinking you are
about to reach the loading platform, only to be confronted with yet
another long section of queue.
I
know what you're thinking: Is this third corridor identical to the first
two? If only. As with Space Invader 1, this final part of the queue
consists of a long staircase, just as narrow as the previous ramps, but
with the walls and ceiling covered with endless arches of lights. From
the sensory deprivation of the previous corridors, this goes too far in
the opposite direction, and this many bright lights in such a cramped
environment is too much for the average human to endure. In the
background, we over hear the radio transmissions from mission control,
who are obsessed with ensuring we get our "Warp protection
injections", which hopefully will cure us of the feeling of chronic
claustrophobia. For those not lucky enough to have such immunity, the
whole affair is close encounter of the unpreferred kind.
Although
the final section of queue is undoubtedly hideous, it is still a vast
improvement on the Space Invader 1 era. Not only did you spend much much
longer here, due to the lower capacity of the coaster, but these endless
arches of lights flashed and flickered and flashed in such a way as to
make the whole ordeal utterly vomit-inducing. Those of us who were
forced through the ordeal as a child still have nightmares about it, and
often find ourselves waking up in the night, screaming out loud.
Finally,
the test of psychological strength and determination is over, and it is
time to board the ride. The station is largely unchanged from Space
Invader 1's high-kitsch B-movie image of a space station, complete with
soothing orchestral music, not dissimilar to that used in 2001 or Star
Wars, which helps to establish the idea of the intrepid space explorers
preparing for their latest mission.
As
you head through the turnstile, your spacecraft glides into view from
the right. After some of the horrors that Space Invader 1 used for cars,
Space Invader 2's sleek pods are a genuine triumph. Like the Apollo
missions, Space Invader 2 is a three-man voyage, and is taken in a craft
that resemble miniature Schwarzkopf Jet Star cars. These cars are very
modern and minimalistic, but still fit in beautifully with the kitsch
surroundings.
Taking
your seat, a simple and very comfortable T-shaped lap bar holds each
crewmember snugly but securely in their place, instantly readying them
for blast-off. By any standards, the new cars offer a very welcome sense
of freedom and exposure, but for anyone who endured Space Invader 1's
intrusive overhead restraints, they will be a particular revelation. In
fact, whereas I struggled to think of a good thing to say about Space
Invader 1's cars, I am similarly stumped to find anything bad about
these shiny new shuttles.
As
before, the lift hill is enclosed within a metallic tunnel, with a
tracer light that reflects all around, in what is a surprisingly
spectacular effect. This is followed by a turn through a black and white
tunnel that features a monstrously psychedelic red strobe light.
Emerging from the tunnel, we are released into what looks like a very
busy district of outer space, full of brightly coloured spacecraft,
satellites, and planets. Included in this new scenery are the bodyshells
of the Space Invader 1 cars, which can be seen ferrying astronauts
around the galaxy, and looking lovely in their luminous lunar livery.
Around
the course, the track is shadowed by new boards showing luminous painted
scenery, helping to fill riders' vision with all manner of spacecraft,
planets and galaxies. This has a surprisingly positive effect, and does
a great deal to help make the whole ride far more visually fulfilling
than the sparse odyssey that was Space Invader 1. The only criticism is
that the majority of the scenery is static, whereas a few special
effects, such as dramatic lighting or sounds, might help to boost the
spectacle of the ride.
The
coaster itself, as you'd expect from a Four Man Bob ride, consists of a
series of curved swoops linked by sharp turnarounds, with a grand finale
of a long fast helix before the brakes. Most impressively, the new cars
negotiate this entire course with a wonderful new-found smoothness.
Indeed, Space Invader 1 gave new meaning to the phrase "Big Bang
Theory", as there were several points around the course that were
painfully rough, but these are now a distant memory, but these sections
are now taken with such grace and elegance that it is hard to imagine
how they could ever have seemed so agonisingly abrasive. In fact, what
was once a truly appalling coaster has now become highly enjoyable. As
the car hits the brakes, it is difficult to believe that this is the
same ride as before.
As
you may have gathered, Space Invader 1 was a ride I hated with a true
passion. I did not expect to like Space Invader 2, but against all odds,
it has emerged as a decent little ride. Almost all of the criticisms of
Space Invader 1 no longer apply, with the exception of the
overly-claustrophobic queue line. Even this is less significant than
before however, as the improved capacity of the ride means you spend
much less time cooped up, and always feel like you are at least making
progress.
The
ride itself is now a very pleasant little family ride. As smooth as you
could ever want it to be, the ride has lost every trace of the roughness
that once made it so atrocious. Dark coasters have a greater need to be
smooth than outdoor ones, as you don't have the luxury of seeing what's
coming and preparing accordingly, and Space Invader 2 is a perfect
example of how a dark family coaster should be. It is difficult to
believe that this is the ride that beat its passenger black and blue for
the previous twenty years.
Outside
the ride, a pre-recorded spiel, dating back to the ride's 1984 premiere,
rabbits on about how good the ride is, "This ride is fantastic.
Unbelievable. Out of this world. We dare you to ride it". Well, I
certainly wouldn't go that far, but I suppose a more honest "This
ride is not bad. Fairly reasonable. We think you'll probably enjoy
it" doesn't have quite the same ring to it. In other words, Space
Invader 2 is not going to be the most enduring memory of your trip to
Blackpool, but will be a good memory nonetheless.
The
Pleasure Beach is home to some truly superb coasters, and so to say that
Space Invader 2 is "good" still means that it retains the
title of the park's weakest coaster. The difference is that the
difference can no longer be measured in light years. If you expect Space
Invader 2 to be a giant leap for coaster-kind, you will be disappointed,
but if you avoid such stratospheric expectations, you will not be
disappointed.
JP 04 July 2004
Good points:
▪ Excellent
new cars
▪ Much
smoother ride than before
▪ Improved
visuals during the ride
Bad points:
▪ Very
poor queue line
▪ Still
the park's weakest coaster
▪ Potential
for great special effects goes unused
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