Beware: This is a review of a past Halloween event. Therefore, do not use it as a basis upon which to preview the same event this year, and please note that the event may not necessarily be taking place this year. Please use our guide for an overview of this years' Halloween attractions. 

Halloween Hocus Pocus, Chessington (2003)

Kids have an annoying habit of being in earshot just when they shouldn’t be. I remember when I was a young rapscallion, I came downstairs just as my mother destroyed a freshly baked cake by dropping it on the floor. Why use ten words when you can use one? Her word of choice is described in the dictionary as “an act of sexual intercourse”, or in this context of “being an imperative signal of angry dismissal”. It began with F.

At this influential age, I took this word under my wing, using it liberally and at just the wrong times. I could unwittingly inject venom into the most mundane of conversations which would conclude with my red-faced and ever-so-apologetic mother dragging me into the corner by the arm before telling me with much malevolence never to use that word again.

About three years ago, Chessington heard an F word, too. This F word is one that we’ve all used before, one that Disney uses a lot and one that Chessington just doesn’t know when to stop using. This word is ‘family’. Ever since learning this F word, Chessington have been quick to use it – Chessington has become a ‘family’ park, with ‘family’ attractions for all the ‘family’. New for 2003, a new ‘family’ attraction, and from October 17th, Halloween Hocus Pocus – full of fiendish ‘family’ fun.

Loyal readers will remember similar claims from last year’s event, and they’ll also remember how Chessington’s misinterpretation of the f-word meant that anyone over the age of 10 may as well stay at home. Unfortunately whilst the itinery remains as biased as last year, this year’s Halloween Hocus Pocus is a far improved experience, although offering only a marked step in the right direction as opposed to a Coaster Kingdom recommendation.

So, what’s in store for you at Halloween Hocus Pocus? If you’re under 10, quite a bit, but for everyone else, not much. The official website promises that the park would be 'transformed into a pumpkin-filled Halloween land'. Whilst last year the park looked presentable, you couldn’t help but think a member of staff was sent to the local party shop with a just a handful of petty cash at their disposal. This year, the park has most certainly lived up to its claims.

The whole area from the entrance up to Market Square has been extensively decorated with real pumpkins and hay bales, and the park have obviously employed the expertise of Tussauds Studios to create tens and tens of larger model pumpkins which are scattered all around the park.

Meanwhile, buildings in Transylvania have been brilliantly decorated with bats hanging from the timber gable ends, spiders and rats climbing up the walls as well as giant fabric cobwebs stretched over the buildings. Of course, this theme works excellently in Transylvania, further enhancing an already existing theme.

Market Square is the last remaining area that is substantially decorated, using more giant pumpkins and a lot of Halloween bunting crossing the pathways. The Chessington Shop has brown reeds covering the pillars around the outside giving it a very rustic look, where the balcony above is covered in giant pumpkins (one about 8ft across, spurting smoke from its eyes) and green stalks wrapping themselves around the top floor of the building.

It’s good to see that Chessington have expanded the theming of the park this year, with parts looking absolutely faultless. Whilst you can never expect Disney-style theming, it’s clear that the park have really made an effort this year.

Areas like Mystic East, Forbidden Kingdom and Beanoland haven’t been touched, probably mainly due to their different styles of theming. That said, I’m sure different styles of theming can be adopted for the Halloween decorations – mummies and ghouls for Forbidden Kingdom for example.

What else does Halloween Hocus Pocus offer? There are signs throughout the park where you can find out “what’s on where”.

For the kids, there’s the Trick or Treat Trail, then for the kids there’s Jink’s Halloween Party Show in Market Square. Meanwhile, for the kids there’s a Creepy Costumes Fancy Dress Competition also in Market Square. Finally, for kids look out for Jink, Winnie the Witch and friends throughout the park. Note the operative word there; ‘kids’.

Unfortunately, first impressions of the excellent theming is just that – a first impression. Like last year, the programme of events is lacking for older children (even 12 year olds), for teenagers and indeed for adults. It’s fair to say the Chessington HAS become very popular for kids, but it’s also popular for families (where younger teenagers are poorly catered for) and also twenty-something couples who aren’t really given a look in.

Other than the excellent decorations in the park and the promise of dark riding (the park remains open until 7.30pm), there really isn’t much to hold your attention until the sun starts setting.

Kids-wise, firstly there’s the Trick or Treat Trail. Throughout the park there are seven special doorways, and upon lifting the letterbox you’ll get a letter. Once you have seven letters, and you put them in order, you have a password.

In Market Square, a purple silhouette of a castle forms a striking backdrop to the main event stage. A pale-faced Vampire invites those with passwords onto the stage to play his Trick or Treat game. It’s simple – there are three doors, two have tricks and one has (drumroll please) a treat.

Frankly, our fanged friend togged up in flowing black cape and Nike trainers doesn’t seem to be generating much interest, and so all and sundry are invited on stage.

Somehow, a young teenager ended up on stage. Making the best of a bad situation, the Count asks this young lady how old she is. “How old am I?!” smirked the girl. “I’m 16”. Regardless, our Transylvanian host asks young kids to make their most terrifying Halloween noises. A four year-old whippersnapper from London roared like a dragon, where-as a five year-old from England (!) was too embarrassed to speak.

The three guests are asked to knock on the doors before opening them. Two kids get chased by a couple of witches and inflatable mallets nabbed from a nearby games stall, where-as our embarrassed teenager wins a small bag of something or other.

Last year I made a particular effort to systematically tear the incomprehensible Creepy 3D Caves to shreds. Fortunately, this attraction hasn’t made it onto this season’s itinery, probably due to the fact it’s now upstaged by the comparably excellent Hocus Pocus Hall.

Cheekily, it’s insinuated that Hocus Pocus Hall is a Halloween Hocus Pocus extra, when of course it’s normally tucked away on the ground floor of Burnt Stub Mansion. Where Burnt Stub normally has very little impact, the entire front of the mansion is completely caked in striking white fabric cobwebs really forming the pride and joy of the park’s decorations this year. If this doesn’t entice in the curious, nothing will.

Hocus Pocus Hall is another attraction worryingly labelled as a family attraction. Surprisingly, this is a wonderful little attraction using some incredible 3D paint effects and real set pieces to capture young peoples’ imaginations whilst entertaining older visitors too. This is the mark of a good family attraction. The attraction also has an instantly recognisable character and identity thanks to a consistent style throughout and a magnificent soundtrack. More attractions like this and I’m all for the new family branding.

At 1.30, 3.00, 4.30 and 6.00, the cheeky little goblin from Hocus Pocus Hall (Jink) comes out to have a party with his purple counterpart and a fury dragon on the Market Square stage. This show is a lot better than the Trick or Treat charade earlier in the day, although still catering for kids as opposed to families.

This year’s Halloween Hocus Pocus is a step in the right direction, although suffers all the same failings as last year’s event. People over the age of ten are better catered for by the extensive decoration of the park, but that’s really all that’s on offer. Whilst I completely respect the park’s new branding of a family park, it is a complete nonsense to consider Halloween Hocus Pocus as a well-rounded family experience. Many, many families have children that are in the lower teen age group, and at the moment these just are not catered for.

For parents, older children and twenty-something couples, there is very little offered, and the shows offered really are quite embarrassing with a patronising style alienating anyone over the age of 10.

Chessington are getting there, but the programme of events is still too biased towards young children. For it to become a well-rounded family event like Disneyland Paris’ Halloween Festival, marked changes need to be made to the programme, offering at least one additional attraction that people of any age can enjoy. Until then, I can only really acknowledge otherwise academic improvements.

MS 31 October 2003

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