.
While in the case of Rita: Queen of Speed we come close to blaming the park, sometimes the park is guilty as charged.

Excalibur, above, is a good example, but so too is Hurakan Condor at PortAventura in Salou, Spain. When it was announced, the PortAventura made sure no comparisons could be made with it and the dozens of other freefalls around the world by singing the virtues of the fact you could choose the way you ride (sitting, standing or hanging by your groin) and the fact the queue and bottom and top of the ride would have special effects. It would also be 140ft taller than the closest comparable ride, Apocalypse.

Disappointingly, choosing your own seat isn’t as refined as on Apocalypse at Drayton Manor with you having to rely on the good nature of whatever member of staff is batching at the front of the queue.

On busier days, it isn’t uncommon for you to be shown to whichever seat is available regardless of whether you want to sit, stand or ruin your chances of having children.

Special effects? Well, despite the top and bottom of the ride being enclosed within a well-themed building, there are none.

And, not so much a fault of the park, the extra height adds nothing to the ride.

If you leave your high expectations on the ground along with any lose articles such as hats, mobile phones and glasses, Hurakan Condor is actually a really good ride.

Thing is, I find it easy to ignore the subjectives of a press release – ‘most intense’? Yeah, right. ‘Scariest’ – whatever. But if a park says a ride has special effects, well, call me old fashioned, but I expect special effects.

So while the marketing machine is often to blame, every one of the rides we’ve looked at had the potential to be something special.

You have the surprising disappointments like G-Force and the inevitable ones like El Diablo. You have had original ideas that were never made the most of, while other ideas never made it beyond the marketing spiel.

It goes to prove that while mighty oaks may grow from a humble acorn, sometimes the first shoots can be killed by a harsh frost.

It is interesting to look at the whys and wherefores, and reassuring to know that every disappointment isn’t simply down to misguided market research or lethargy on the part of the park.

Although it is easy to berate rides like Goudurix that beat you black and blue, rides like Rita, G-Force and Feng Ju Palace are all inoffensive enough and don’t have the negative side-effects of something we’d normally revel in tearing to shreds.

But despite the good-willed intentions of a park, and despite the best initial idea, at the end of the day, a bad ride is a bad ride. Discuss this article...