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Velocity joins Flamingoland as the park removes the Bullet, a popular and one-of-a-kind Schwarzkopf shuttle coaster to make way for next year’s newest addition, Kumali, a Vekoma SLC (suspended looping coaster).

With two Schwarzkopf coasters closing, and vultures circling another (Magnum Force), this year has been as bad as last when it comes to ride closures, if not worse.

Pleasure Beach Blackpool has taken over Alton Towers’ mantle for draconian and seemingly pointless ride closures this season, closing the historic Turtle Chase, Whip and Vikinger, as well as the enclosed Waltzer, the Black Hole.

Amanda Thompson has made clear that her vested interests lie in improving the quality of the park, yet while the park itself makes measured steps towards shedding its reputation for being the mecca of all that is tacky, it also stumbles towards losing the reputation for being a cathedral for rare one-of-a-kind classic rides.

While these rides close, Blackpool seems no closer to alluring disillusioned visitors back. Ice cream parlours just don’t cut mustard, I’m afraid. There have been positive murmurs pointing towards a new ride for 2006, but the naysayer inside of me says we’ve heard it all before.

While I am being cynical, American Adventure this year started their bid to become more of a family park. We prefer to call it, “corporate suicide”.

What does becoming a family park actually entail? Well, if you’re American Adventure, closing three of your biggest rides, two of which epitomise the very definition of family rides (Nightmare Niagara and Grand Canyon Rapids). Note, ‘closing’. The park hasn’t humoured us by actually removing them, so the park’s exciting skyline along could probably be labelled as false advertising.

Whatever American Adventure are thinking, this is the most publicly slow and miserable death of a park I have ever seen in my life.

In earnest, it actually started in 1985 when the park opened as Britannia Park, aiming to be the best of British. Just twelve weeks later, the park went into administration and was closed down.

It reopened in 1987 under the corporate wing of Granada with nearly £10 million of investment, then went through two changes of ownership before John Broome bought the park in 1997, promising new rides from B&M and CCI.

Three years later he leaves the park having installed nothing in particular.

So, it is scientifically proven that the park is a lost cause. Has their new family focus finally pointed the good ship American Adventure towards richer seas? Roger Lloyd, American Adventure’s Director declined to comment when we asked. We’d hazard a guess though.

While we’re on the subject of people trying to ruin the fun for others, look no further than the Roper’s household in Staffordshire.

Enthusiasts are often quick to lambaste disgruntled residents complaining about noise pollution from theme parks, but – let’s be honest here – theme parks are awful neighbours. They create congestion, light pollution and noise. Whatever you say, they are noisy. Continues...