Coaster Kingdom

Walt Disney Studios
Disneyland Paris Resort

At a time where everything Disney touched turned to gold, at the opposite end of the spectrum were Six Flags, considered by many enthusiasts as the scourge of theme park operators. Whether a just reputation or not, their parks became well known not for focused aptitude towards making dreams come true, but for sloppy operations and poor customer service.

So, if I were to tell you that Six Flags Inc opened and operated an excellent movie-themed park in 2002 (Movie World Madrid, for the unenlightened), which soon became one of Coaster Kingdoms’ favourite theme parks in Europe, surely by virtue of this surely any fool can build a movie studios theme park?

Well, no. So who is responsible for bumbling a formula that has been tried and tested for over fifty years? A rank amateur, surely?

Well, no. The perpetrator is no less than the big cheese themselves, Disney.

Walt Disney Studios opened in 2002 as the much-lauded and equally long-overdue second gate in the Disneyland Paris resort, Paris. The Studios park was actually planned to open around five years after the resort first opened, but was delayed again and again as the park recovered from bad publicity in the first years of operation.

When it finally opened, it opened as Walt Disney Studios, omitting the MGM from the Floridian namesake (Disney-MGM Studios) as the French are generally impassive towards American brands such as MGM. One could argue that the Disney brand itself is the quintessence of American culture and that on this basis the whole park was an intriguing folly, but that argument is best saved for those with a broader knowledge of the successes – and much publicised failures – of Disneyland Paris.

Whilst the Floridian resort suffers from having to get courtesy buses from park to park, Disneyland Paris avoids this problem as it takes only a brief stroll to the left of the original park to get to the peachy-yellow art-deco archway entrance to Walt Disney Studios.

A grandiose art-deco archway forms an integral part of the entrance to Walt Disney Studios, as such archways invariably do at movie studio theme parks. Universal started the trend in Burbank, and continued it into their Orlando theme park, whilst Disney and Warner Bros. have also built their entrances around iconic gateways and arches. Employing an art-deco style, and coloured in yellow, beige and tan hues, Disney Studios’ is one of the nicest looking entrances, although is on a far less impressive scale than the entrance to Movie World Madrid. Two large gates emblazoned with gold decal detailing such showbiz décor as stars, lights and a silhouetted Mickey Mouse at a camera render the entrance as decoration only, with your passage of entry being forced through the kiosks stage left and stage right of the archway.

Once inside, and cast under the shadows of another movie studios cliché, the water tower, first impressions are good – if quaint. The 1950s Hollywood theme continues with the mono-tonal buildings forming a courtyard around a beautiful fountain of Mickey Mouse as the Sorcerer’s Apprentice. This popular photo spot has the commanding backdrop of Studio 1, which is your gateway to the park, and styled after Disney’s original Hyperion Avenue Studio soundstage.

The covered equivalent of Main Street is a nice idea, but comes across as tatty around the edges. This huge soundstage is host to a set of a Hollywood Boulevard, and by being a ‘working set’, cleverly sidesteps the necessity to include the little touches Disney are renowned for and instead opts stencilling HOT SET onto anything flat to enforce the fact that this is a real movie studios.

Stage 1 comes across as very artificial and uncharismatic when compared to, say, Hollywood Boulevard at Movie World Madrid. It is also very small, with a lot of clutter but not actually that much to do aside a shop and restaurant.

First impressions always count. While Thorpe Park’s Atlantis Dome lifts the lid of a silver platter when you walk out of the dome leaving the whole park mapped out in front of you as if to say “ta da!”, Studio 1 at Walt Disney Studios passes up on this opportunity. The view as you come out of Studio 1 is not impressive, verges on dull, yet puts you in good stead for the remainder of your day.

Let me illustrate the main problem of Disney Studios with a copy of the map:

How many attractions can you count there? Here’s a clue; it’s ten.

Front Lot: Disney Studio 1

Backlot: Rock ‘N’ Roller Coaster starring Aerosmith
Moteurs... Action!
Armageddon: Special Effects

Production Courtyard: Television Production Tour
Studio Tram Tour: Behind the Magic
CineMagique

Animation Courtyard: Art of Disney Animation
Flying Carpets Over Agrabah
Animagique

This is ten attractions, and includes a launched Vekoma (one of which can be found next door), a Zamperla Flying Elephant-style ride (two of which can be found next door), all the parks’ shows, and even Studio 1 which we’ve already discovered is merely Main Street USA without the style, without the substance, and with a complimentary roof.

Now, the starring roles in this epic go to Rock ‘N’ Roller Coaster and Moteurs... Action! The former is a launched Vekoma coaster based roughly on the original in Florida (with the same layout as Superman: The Ride at Walibi World), whilst the latter is an original motor stunt show sponsored by car manufacturer Vauxhall/Opel.

Compared to the two so-called ‘E-Ticket’ rides in Florida, out of Twilight Zone Tower of Terror and Rock ‘N’ Roller Coaster, RNRC seems a strange choice considering the French resort already has a launched Vekoma looping coaster – comparisons are academic, admittedly, but given the choice of a freefall or launched Vekoma, for me it would be an easy decision to make, but it seems Disney opted for the cheaper option, much to their detriment.

Moteurs... Action! is the only other real notable attraction. This is a high-octane and highly original stunt show spectacular with a starring cast of Vauxhall cars not only leaves you slack jawed with some of the most spectacular car stunts you’ll ever see, but ties in nicely with the movie studio theme educating you about how similar stunts are done in show-business.

Another attraction unique to Walt Disney Studios is Armageddon. Think Twister (Universal Studios Florida) or Temple Del Feugo (Port Aventura) and you have the idea. Like many of these attractions, though, Armageddon is far more passive and flat that it aught to be. The biggest downfall of Armageddon is the dull and ham fisted pre-show which is frankly boring.

The actual main part has “you, the visitor star in your very own stunt spectacular” as the space station you’re in is in the midst of a meteor shower and suffers decompression. Certainly a gutsy performance, but relies too much on shaking roof panels and smoke. There are a few fantastic moments, but you do end up leaving wondering whether it was all worth it.

And what ‘working’ studio park would be complete without a tour of the backlot? There’s just one thorn in the side of Walt Disney Studios’ tour; there is no backlot to tour – at all. Nada.

Your Tram Tour starts in a most unassuming way beneath an ugly shelter overlooking, well, nothing. The red trams take you on a tour past a boneyard of vehicles and titbits used in films before stopping at the first scene, a large façade that featured in the box office hit, Dinotopia. “Box office hit” was sarcasm, by the way.

You continue on to Catastrophe Canyon which is a fantastic display of special effects as the train is hit by an earthquake that sends a oil tanker sliding down the canyon in a blaze of fire as torrents of water cascade down. Great stuff, although there is a good chance this is old news to most as Catastrophe Canyon is a carbon copy from the American park.

A quick loop around the back of Catastrophe Canyon sends you back in the opposite direction on exactly the same road you came down on and past exactly the same scenes. It is a complete nonsense that the sprawling tram tour is of such a poor layout it has to double back on itself only to detour past the costume design department.

Of course, the problem here is that there is no studio for which to make costumes for, so instead, half of the windows are blocked out with mannequins dressed in costumes, whilst costumes for the park staff are tailored inside this large wardrobe.

The only thing left to see on the tour is a scene from another inconspicuous Disney film, Reign of Fire, where we get to see a convincing scene depicting a fire-torn London. Rather randomly, from the depths of this unanimated scene, there is a flash of fire before the tour concludes.

The tram tour is a complete mess, and epitomises everything that is wrong about Disney Studios. Firstly, it’s really boring. Secondly, it tries to humour us by pretending Walt Disney Studios is a working film studio when it obviously isn’t.

And the last problem – applicable to the entire park – is best illustrated with pictures. Everyone knows they say a thousand words – and my fingers are beginning to ache:



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Here’s the problem – Walt Disney Studios is ugly. It fell out of the ugly tree, and hit every branch on the way down. These photos aren’t staged, I took them from main park thoroughfares and these unsightly scenes are for everyone to see.  

Once beyond Studio 1, everywhere is awash with bleak expanses of tarmac, industrial and uninviting buildings and large swathes of open space. Attractions are generally unwelcoming – Rock ‘N’ Roller and Armageddon, for example, are corrugated sound stages with billboard-style signage in front, whilst other attractions such as Moteurs... Action! and the Studio Tram Tour are both non-descript and forgettable.

Like Disney’s California Adventure and Disney’s Animal Kingdom, it is a park in its infancy. Maybe, maybe I could forgive it for not chalking up a great tally of rides, but there is no excuse for Disney to rest on their laurels, spend years delaying a park, and then open something that is so desolate, so devoid of atmosphere, and – frankly – so bleak.

You see, Walt Disney Studios goes completely against Walt’s philosophy of escapism, despite the genre of films lending themselves well to such a belief. What Walt Disney Studios does, is to show you the gritty, unflattering and humdrum clutter of ‘behind the scenes’ without actually having a working studio on site.

Imagine going to a chocolate factory tour. You see all the unsightly machinery that makes the chocolates, but no actual chocolates... because they don’t make chocolates there. That’s not fair, and in that respect, neither is Walt Disney Studios.

Once you’ve conquered all ten attractions, you’ve conquered the entire park. Whilst many are a pleasure to walk around, Disney Studios simply is not. Food in the park is scarce, and there is not a single proper sit down restaurant with most of the parks catering being from the back of backlot-style caravans. If this is the life of Julia Roberts, then I pity her. She should get a job where I work and live la vida loca in our staff canteen.

Even judging it on its own merits, Walt Disney Studios has one good ride, one excellent show, no character, no restaurants, and – to be frank – very few reasons to visit. But, when this park is built next to a charming, established and exciting theme park that takes you to another world, well, Walt Disney Studios would have been better left to the cutting room floor.


MS 12 December 2004


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