Coaster Kingdom
http://www.ukrollercoasters.co.uk
Chaos (British Fairs)
As
an intelligent and discerning reader, I assume you’re perfectly familiar with
chaos theory, but for the benefit of those who didn’t pay attention at school,
chaos theory simply states that, if the universe is infinite, and time is
eternal, then there must be an infinite number of ways that ride manufacturers
can make new variations on the old Huss Frisbee. KMG certainly subscribes to
this philosophy, and having come up with the Afterburner, a floorless Frisbee
using suspended seating, the Dutch firm now seems intent on making Afterburners
of every different conceivable size.
The
most famous Afterburner in the UK is Thorpe Park’s Vortex, a 32-seat park
model of the ride. Thorpe was not the first to bring an Afterburner to the UK
however, as that honour went to Midland showman Willie Wilson, who first
presented the mighty Chaos to the fairgoers of this green and pleasant land in
1999. However, comparing Vortex and Chaos is rather pointless, as for all their
basic similarities, the two are totally different rides, for spectators and
riders alike.
When
you first come across Chaos, the first thing that grabs you is that this is one
of the most lavishly presented rides in the UK, and possibly in all of Europe.
Travelling rides are not exactly noted for subtlety, but even amid the hysteria
of a major fair, Chaos has a remarkable presence and stature. With it’s
gleaming white structure, and majestically dynamic swing that lifts the gondola
well beyond vertical and up into the heavens, Chaos commands authority, and
leaves you in no doubt that it means business. Better still, with an astonishing
array of multicoloured lighting effects, strobes, and dry ice, the atmosphere
around the ride is more like what you’d expect from the Ministry of Sound than
an amusement ride. Make no mistake, whatever the competition, Chaos is more than
capable of punching its weight.
Having
bought a ticket, you are quickly ushered into the batching area, right in the
heart of the action. As your lungs fill with a dense cloud of dry ice and your
eyes adjust to the bombardment of lights, you are enlisted into a group of 24,
and ushered to the gondola. Indeed, if the fair is busy, you may find that the
ride has yet to completely stop, and that the previous riders are still stuck in
their seats, waiting for the restraints to rise. It goes without saying that you
are expected to get seated ASAP, and that faffing around will be met with a
zero-tolerance manner. For a ride called Chaos, the loading seems remarkably
well drilled and organised, and the gondola will be stationary for next to no
time.
The
warning horn sounds, and immediately the restraints close themselves, ready for
the off. Anyone more used to Vortex will no doubt think they’ll have time for
a breather as the floor lowers, but this too is instant, with the floor
collapsing into a neat “V” shape, often with staff still standing on it as
it goes. With a few choice words from the operator over the PA, a blast of dry
ice, and a few deafening jingles, the ride powers into life, gaining height
remarkably quickly.
As
the swings get more and more powerful, the gondola begins to spin. To return to
Vortex for a moment, the biggest single criticism levelled at Thorpe’s ride is
that the gondola always turns 180º in precisely the time it takes to do a full
swing, meaning that the same seats are always at the “top” of each swing,
and making it dull for those always stuck at the bottom. Well, if that’s what
aggrieves you, then you will be delighted to hear that Chaos does not share this
problem. In fact, at full speed, the gondola manages to do almost a full 180º
during the momentary pause at the top of each swing. This is impressive, to say
the least, and means that the spinning alone creates a quite a considerable
amount of G-force, which of course can be good news or bad, depending on your
tastes.
Reaching
full swing, the ride reveals a unique sensation. With G-force still pushing you
into the seat, the swings go well beyond the vertical, and riders get the odd
sensation of being whirled around high above the crowd, with gravity doing all
it can to pull you up from the seat. This odd moment of serenity is in sharp
contrast with the powerful blast past the platform, where strobe lights and
speakers do all they can to send your senses into meltdown. The fact that there
is so little of the ride’s structure to block your view means much of your
vision is taken up by an amazing blur of dazzling colour. Whatever else you may
say about it, Chaos is one ride that does not do things by halves.
As
the ride surges on mercilessly, the operators maintain the party atmosphere with
the usual fairground tricks of urging you to scream, wave your arms and legs,
and play endless jingles (a favourite being a blast of Queen’s “We Will Rock
You”, which makes you regret not having a floor to stamp your feet upon). This
is where the Afterburner excels over the myriad of other Frisbee clones. With
all riders visible to each other, it generates a truly fantastic atmosphere
among riders, and has few rivals in terms of generating a perfect blend of
outright thrills and communal spirit. The fact that a ride on Chaos can last for
quite a while means that there is a sense of “all being in it together”, as
we’re asked to put our arms in the air if we want some more, and 48 hands duly
reach out and grab a slice of sky.
Eventually,
the ride comes to an end, and with little more than a sad sounding “oh no”
jingle, it’s time to vacate your seat for another gang of pumped up punters.
Staff again leave you in little doubt that you are to leave the area post-haste,
and before you know it, you’re on the exit ramp while the high-flying frenzy
resumes behind you.
Let’s
not mince words here, Chaos is fantastic. Not only has KMG came up with the
goods in creating the Afterburner in the first place, but the Wilson family have
made it easily the finest example of its type you could ever hope to see. It
looks gorgeous, sounds incredible, and offers a wild and truly thrilling ride.
It certainly ranks alongside such heavyweights as Top Buzz and Move It 32 in
terms of being one of the best rides touring the UK at the moment, and is
arguably the finest ride on the road in terms of presentation.
There
are, however, one or two minor negative points. As with many KMG rides, the
restraints are far from ideal. KMG seems to work on the odd assumption that all
human bodies are both slim and perfectly rectangular, which means that their
restraints can be hard work on the shoulders, while larger riders will struggle
to fit into them at all. Given that Chaos is a far more intense ride than any
other member of the Frisbee fraternity, the restraints are quite restrictive,
and the lack of comfort may make it more likely that usual that riders may feel
queasy during the ride.
It
is amazing to look at the variation between the many different rides that have
been spawned by the Frisbee. Chaos, Vortex, and Drayton Manor’s Maelstrom all
use the same basic principle, and are all excellent rides, yet ride very
differently indeed. Which you’ll prefer is obviously down to personal
preference, and if you favour relatively calm rides, Chaos is probably the one
to avoid. If, however, you have a masochistic streak, and you are looking for a
ride that grabs you by the throat and indulges in unabashed adrenaline-pumping
mania, then Chaos is the undisputed king of the swingers.
5/5 John Phillips